Romancing the Stone
by CycloneT
Summary: She was toying with him. And also laughing at him. Right to his face, too. It was kinda hot. [SheppardWeir]
1. Chapter 1

Title: Romancing the Stone  
Author: Cyclone  
Rating: PG13  
Summary: She was toying with him. And also laughing at him. Right to his face, too. It was kinda hot.  
Notes: So this is it – my first Stargate: Atlantis fic. Of course it's shippy – and of course, it's Sheppard/Weir. They're just so adorable that I couldn't resist. Many thanks to my wonderful beta Shane for her help in fine-tuning this story. Thanks also go to Mary for allaying my fears regarding my characterisations. And finally, to Traci for getting me hooked on Sheppard/Weir in the first place.  
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they would have christened the puddle jumpers already. Numerous times, in an endless variety of positions. ;) 

XxX

John saw the crude stone figure on her desk and frowned. It was new. While he was away someone had given her something - something that she either appreciated enough to put on display, or appreciated the sentiment that lay behind it enough to appease the person who had given it to her.

He decided then and there that he hated it. It was ugly. And tacky. He could probably reach over and knock it to the floor, effectively shattering its mocking existence into pieces. He could do that and Elizabeth wouldn't even think twice. After all, he was a walking disaster most of the time. There were hundreds of things in Atlantis that he wasn't allowed to touch without supervision. Hell, there were whole rooms that he wasn't even allowed to enter. She wouldn't suspect a thing. He'd made up his mind to do just that when she looked up from her work and caught him in mid-crime. He couldn't help the guilty look that flashed across his face as his hand froze in the air, leaving no doubt as to what he was reaching for.

"This is new," he said lamely as he picked up the offending trinket and pretended an examination of interest.

She smiled and held out her hand, and he had no other option than to pass it to her. "Yes, one of the Athosians gave it to me while you were off world. It's pretty, don't you think?"

"Pretty ugly," he scowled. And tacky. He couldn't forget the tackiness. If he were to give her something it wouldn't be some ugly, tacky figurine that was probably mass produced in Taiwan. Or whatever the Athosian equivalent was.

"John!"

"Did I just say that out loud?"

Her eyes twinkled with amusement and she placed the figurine to the left of her laptop, which conveniently happened to be just out of his reach. "Well, I like it. It was very thoughtful of Pierrick to give it to me."

Pierrick. John relaxed a little into the chair and stretched out his legs. He had nothing to worry about there. The man was newly married and completely in love with his wife. Not that he had been worried in the first place. It didn't affect him one way or the other if men wanted to give Elizabeth ugly, tacky gifts. "What's it supposed to be anyway?"

"Not a _what_, a _who_," she explained, her eyes still dancing.

He looked at the ugly figurine again and grimaced. "That thing actually represents someone?"

"Yes, it does." She smiled again – she seemed to be doing an inordinate amount of that for a conversation which wasn't really that amusing – and he wondered what exactly it was that he was missing.

"Who?"

Her smile turned secretive and he couldn't help but think that she was laughing at him. "I'm sorry?"

"Who does it represent?" he pressed. "An Athosian God? Some other deity of the Pegasus Galaxy? Papa Smurf?"

"Yes, John, I find it very conducive to the piles of reports I have to get through every day to have Papa Smurf watching over me."

"So if it's not Papa Smurf, then who is it?"

"Now where would the fun be if I told you that?"

Was she toying with him? She didn't do that. He was the one who toyed with her. Someone had changed the rules while he was off world and forgotten to pass along the memo. "Elizabeth," he almost whined. His curiosity was piqued now and he had to know.

"Yes, Major?" she asked innocently.

Oh yeah. Definitely toying with him. And also laughing at him. Right to his face, too. It was kinda hot. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

Her fingers reached out and caressed what he assumed was the figurine's face. "I thought we already established that."

"I'll find out eventually, you know," he threatened with what he hoped was sufficient sternness to make her realise her life would be a lot easier if he didn't have to do things the hard way.

Unfortunately, she didn't buy it. Unfortunately, she already knew that he was all bark and no bite where she was concerned. "Probably," she shrugged.

"So why not tell me now and save me the effort?"

"As I said before, where would the fun be in that?"

"This is how it's gonna be?"

She nodded. "This is how it's gonna be."

"Okay then," he said, pulling himself up. "Just as long as it doesn't represent McKay. That would really creep me out. On _so_ many levels," he added, cringing in mock horror.

Her laughter followed him as he exited her office and he decided that he quite liked Elizabeth laughing at him. He liked it a _lot_. He'd figure out who the figurine represented and if it was anyone that threatened the easy status quo that he and the good doctor had developed then he'd string him up by any protruding appendages, but in the meantime . . . he grinned in anticipation and practically bounced to his quarters. In the meantime, she could continue laughing at him.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Romancing the Stone  
Author: Cyclone  
Rating: PG13  
Summary: She was toying with him. And also laughing at him. Right to his face, too. It was kinda hot.  
Notes: So this is it – my first Stargate: Atlantis fic. Of course it's shippy – and of course, it's Sheppard/Weir. They're just so adorable that I couldn't resist. Many thanks to my wonderful beta Shane for her help in fine-tuning this story. Thanks also go to Mary for allaying my fears regarding my characterisations. And finally, to Traci for getting me hooked on Sheppard/Weir in the first place.  
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they would have christened the puddle jumpers already. Numerous times, in an endless variety of positions. ;) 

XxX

Major Sheppard left her office with a spring in his step and Elizabeth couldn't help herself. Her eyes seemed to have a mind of their own, and even though she knew that they should be focused on the computer in front of her, they preferred instead to watch her sprightly ranking military officer as he made his way through the command centre. It didn't help at all that they appreciated his back view almost as much as they did his front view and were sending all sorts of 'rawr' signals to her brain. And it certainly didn't help that her brain was receiving these signals loud and clear with an 'oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about' attitude that made her face flame and her pulse race. Especially when it knew exactly how inappropriate it was that she was ogling her second in command in the first place.

Her brain – which clearly she couldn't rely on anymore to be the voice of reason – had betrayed her for a tight butt and bed hair. She sighed and turned reluctantly back to her computer. She'd thought it was better than that. Obviously she had been wrong.

A slight crackle in her ear dragged her thoughts away from tight butts, bed hair and her body's traitorous reaction to the aforethought splendours. "At least tell me if it's supposed to represent an actual living person," the voice on the other end of the headset coaxed.

"As opposed to one of the Smurfs?" she retorted, smiling again at the conversation they'd just shared.

She'd enjoyed it much more than she should have. It had felt good to laugh and joke and pretend that the weight of the world wasn't on her shoulders. It had felt really good, and she suspected that reason why it had felt so good was because for once _she_ was the one who was laughing at _him_.

"Just tell me that I won't have to kick his ass."

"Why would you have to kick his ass?" she asked, puzzled.

"In case he got . . . fresh, or something. Made unwelcome advances. On account of you having an ugly representation of him perched on your desk. Some men could view that as an open invitation to further intimacies."

"Some men?"

"Yeah, some men. On the whole, we're lechers. A beautiful woman keeps a statue of us – even an ugly one – on her desk, and we're gonna press that advantage. It's a male thing."

There was a muffled silence from her end.

"You're laughing at me again, aren't you?" he accused, but there was amusement in his tone and she knew that he was enjoying their verbal sparring as much as she was.

"No, not at all."

But she _so_ was.

"You _so_ are."

"I promise you that you won't have to kick his ass. You don't have to worry about him making unwelcome advances." Or any advances at all, she thought to herself, and then startled at the longing that accompanied that thought.

"Are you saying that his advances would be welcome?" All amusement had disappeared from his voice, replaced with a steeliness that she'd heard on only a few occasions.

"I'm saying that it's a moot point. Although," she mused, "it would be a very interesting battle. I could probably sell tickets."

"I'd win," he said seriously.

"I don't doubt it."

"Just sayin'."

"I know."

"Okay then."

There was a moment of awkward silence as she tried to decipher his change of mood. "Was there anything else that you wanted, Major?" she asked, drawing back to the more familiar role of expedition leader addressing her 2IC. "Apart from wanting me to solve the puzzle for you?"

"I wouldn't have to solve the puzzle in the first place if you hadn't made it one."

"Then shouldn't you get to work on that instead of bothering me?"

"I'm not bothering you," he denied, and she could actually hear the smirk that she was sure that he was wearing.

She looked down at the pile of work that she had yet to get through and sighed.

He heard it, of course, and she knew immediately that he felt bad for distracting her. "I'm sorry," he apologised. "I am bothering you. I'll go solve the mystery of the ugly Smurf and let you get back to it. Sheppard out."

And then he was gone, and she was left alone with an endless pile of reports and her new figurine. She picked it up and turned it in her hands. Oh, she was really looking forward to seeing the look on John's face when he discovered who it represented. Really. She put it down with regret and turned her attention back to the work at hand. She was going to be there for hours, she'd probably forget to eat, and as for sleep – pfft, she could forget about seeing her pillow anytime soon. But her mood was light and her smile was still firmly in place.

Because he had called her beautiful.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Romancing the Stone Part 3  
Author: Cyclone  
Rating: PG13  
Summary: There would be consequences.  
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they would have christened the puddle jumpers already. Numerous times, in an endless variety of positions.  
Notes: Thanks go to Shane for catching my POV slip ups and for her excellent beta work. 

XxX

It was quite late when John found himself walking idly into the control room. At first he couldn't figure out why this, of all places, had called him. After all, he would have thought he'd seen enough of it during missions and briefs to last him through those rare times when he had nothing to do except, apparently, wander around aimlessly looking for someone to bug. He was about to turn around and go back to his discarded War and Peace when his eyes flickered up and he suddenly realised why he was here.

Elizabeth was still up. Her head was bent over a thick stack of reports and he could see the scowl that furrowed her brow from where he was. She looked tired and frustrated, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to be able to wipe that look from her face and shoot the next person who even thought about adding to her never-ending burden.

He stood watching her for a long time, conscious that this new feeling of protectiveness had nothing to do with the personal security and wellbeing of Atlantis' expedition leader, but everything to do with the woman who wore that mantle. Strangely, it didn't bother him that in his head she'd gone from being Doctor Weir, (technically) his boss, a person he'd grown to like and respect, to Elizabeth, a woman who was (technically) still his boss, whom he'd grown to like, respect and imagine naked on a regular basis. He watched some more, his eyes taking in the hunch of her shoulders, the way she pinched the bridge of her nose and the by now probably stone cold mug of coffee that sat just to the left of Papa Smurf.

Papa Smurf. He grinned mischievously. She was up, she was alone and she needed to let off a bit of steam. She was ripe for the picking.

A crackle in his ear brought his attention back to earth. "I can see you down there, Major Sheppard, and whatever you're planning - I'm warning you – don't."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he protested as he made his way up the stairs.

"No? Why am I not comforted by that look on your face?"

"Because you're a very suspicious woman," he replied.

"Maybe." She smiled as he entered her office. "But maybe I know you well enough to know that you're up to no good."

"Me? I'm a regular boy scout."

"Uh huh."

He sat down in his regular spot and folded his arms behind his head. "If I was up to no good . . .and I admit nothing here . . .do you think I'd be sloppy enough to let you catch me at it?"

"I haven't actually caught you at anything yet, John. All I know is that you're thinking about it."

"You can't hang a man for thinking."

"In this galaxy? I could probably find somewhere where thinking no-good thoughts is a capital offence."

He laughed and leaned forward in his char. "Well, I guess it would depend on what constituted 'no-good' thoughts in the first place, wouldn't it?"

She laughed back and he was glad to see that her brow had cleared and she now appeared worry free. "Anything that produced that look on your face is a 'no-good' thought. I shudder to imagine what's going on in that head of yours."

"And what if I told you I was thinking about you?" John offered, and was heartened to see a slight blush colour Elizabeth's cheeks. "What if I was thinking, 'Gee, Elizabeth looks like she needs a break up there. I wonder what I could do to help.'"

"That's what you were thinking?" she asked, looking pleasantly surprised.

"Approximately," he replied, with enough of a smart-ass tone to raise her suspicions.

"Approximately?"

"Well, there may or may not have been some naked thoughts in there as well . . . but since that would constitute inappropriate or 'no-good thoughts'" and he paused as he made air quotations, "towards a fellow mission member, I can't very well admit them now, can I? Especially if there's a chance that I might wind up over a scaffold dangling by my poor neck."

Her smile froze. "Major Sheppard –" she began, reprovingly.

"Yeah, yeah. I know," he apologised. "Inappropriate. I'm sorry. I just thought - "

"I was going to say that you shouldn't play with a person who hasn't experienced any nakedness in. . . how long have we been here now? Without first of all thinking about the consequences."

"Consequences?" he asked stupidly. This wasn't exactly the direction he'd planned on taking the conversation. And in his hastily thought out plan, he'd been the one with the upper hand. Clearly, from the way Elizabeth was smirking at him, his plan needed revising.

"Consequences," she reiterated.

"Which would be?" he asked, and was alternatively relieved and disappointed when the piercing siren that foretold unexpected off world activity stopped her from replying.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Romancing the Stone part 4  
Author: Cyclone  
Rating: PG13  
Summary: Just as there are consequences, there are also ramifications.  
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they would have christened the puddle jumpers already. Numerous times, in an endless variety of positions.  
Notes: Thanks to Shane for her beta skills. Thanks also to everyone who's still reading and especially reviewing. (Yes, I have an ego. -g-) The end of the road is creeping up - there's only a couple of chapters left to write now. So without further ado, here's chapter four. 

XxX

_What the hell were you thinking?_ Elizabeth thought to herself as she gripped the balcony railing tightly. _You don't start something with a man like John Sheppard and then just expect to walk away from it. Not without finishing it first._

It had been three days since their little chat about consequences. At first she'd thought that she'd come away with the upper hand, and had behaved rightly superior. After all, she'd managed to render him speechless, and she'd managed to do it in such a way that it had taken him a full day to recover. One day was all it had taken though. One day of him unable to meet her eyes for more than a second without colouring and looking away had changed to two days of laden looks, knowing smirks, and smug glances. Two days of him looking her over like she was the previously undiscovered sixth food group and he knew exactly what she tasted like. Two days of her trying not to imagine how he felt while he was doing that.

She kicked ineffectually at the railing. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ She knew very well what the consequences of the consequences would be, and although part of her wanted to test the boundaries that they'd stretched recently, the logical part of her knew that it would be a bad move.

"Come on, it can't be that bad."

Elizabeth turned around, startled by the intrusion. John came to stand next to her and assumed an identical stance, feet apart, hands leaning on the rail.

"I'm sorry?"

"Whatever has got you so out of shape that you'd kick a steel railing."

She shrugged ruefully. "Nothing that concerns you."

"No?" he pressed.

"No."

"You sure about that?"

"John."

"I'm just worried about –"

"Major Sheppard, I told you that it doesn't concern you. Perhaps you could go and find something else to do?"

"Okay," he replied, looking a little confused by the distance she was putting between them. "Any suggestions?"

"Don't you have reports to file?"

"Nope. All done."

"What about – what exactly do you do around here, anyway?"

"You mean when I'm not risking life and limb off-world or awakening the Wraith?" he asked. "I was working on a little identity problem, but I solved that a couple of days ago."

Two days ago. Two days ago was when he'd started giving her looks that he had no business giving. "Ahh, Papa Smurf?"

"No, that distinguishing yet manly stature on your desk."

Elizabeth laughed. "That would be Papa Smurf, John. I think you referred to it as 'ugly' and 'tacky'."

"Hey, I may have said it was ugly, but I never said it was tacky. Besides," he turned to face her. "It kind of grows on you."

"Yes it does," she agreed softly, thinking the same thing about her errant major. A comfortable silence settled over them wherein he grinned stupidly at her, and she grinned stupidly right back. Just when she thought that they were crossing the line from silly to ridiculous, John twisted his body so that he was leaning against the rail and asked, "So, you want to know how I know?"

"I assume that you tracked down Pierrick and asked him?"

"Well, yeah. But –"

"But what?" she prodded.

"I've got nothing," he admitted. "Just thought you might want to admire my investigative skills."

"Oh, I do," she said with a smirk. "It took you what? A couple of days to figure out that you should go directly to the source? And then two more to come and brag about it? I'm very impressed with your . . . investigative skills, John."

John edged closer to her so that their arms were lightly touching. "In my defence, I was thinking about the ramifications of Papa Smurf for two of those days."

_Don't think about it,_ she told herself. _Do. Not. Think. About. Those. Two. Days._ "Who said there had to be ramifications?" she asked, and was pleased that her voice at least sounded calm and steady. As opposed to the rest of her, which felt like some sort of jelly.

"Come on, Elizabeth. Just like there are consequences," and he leaned even closer still and spoke directly into her ear. "which I hope we fully get to explore, there are also ramifications. As fun as the consequences would be, we also have to think of the ramifications."

"Oh," was all she said. She already knew that. And if he'd just stop smiling at her like he was, and smelling so good, she'd be able to agree with him.

"Yeah, oh."

The trouble was, what had started as a bit of harmless flirting between friends had turned into something that would open up a big ol' can of messy worms if they took it any further. Which, she mused as she again tried to force all sorts of ill-conceived naked notions about him out of her head, she wasn't totally adverse to. At least in theory.

And damn him – he looked like he already knew that.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Romancing the Stone part 5  
Author: Cyclone  
Rating: PG13  
Summary: Consequences: A conclusion reached through valid deductive reasoning.  
Disclaimer: If they were mine, they would have christened the puddle jumpers already. Numerous times, in an endless variety of positions. )  
Thanks: Shane for the beta. And Traci, who got me hooked in the first place. 

XxX

"So I guess the question is, what are we going to do about it?"

He thought it was a very pertinent question but Elizabeth was suddenly glaring at him like she'd just discovered something unpleasant on the bottom of her shoe, and he was it. He didn't like it when she glared. He liked it even less when she glared at him. Especially since moments before she'd been smiling at him in such a way that fantasies of clubbing her over her head and dragging her back to his cave had briefly crossed his mind. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

"The consequences, or the ramifications?" she asked finally, breaking his fantasies – which actually weren't that brief – up.

"Both. Either." He thought about it and nudged her softly. "Consequences first, I think. You did threaten me with them and . . . well, it was a good threat. It should be carried out."

Elizabeth made a choking sound as she tried – unsuccessfully, he was glad to see – to stop herself from laughing. "And then?"

That would bring them to the ramifications. Technically, they shouldn't be that bad. So he was the ranking military officer and she was the expedition commander - there was nothing in the rulebook that specifically forbade a personal relationship between the two of them. And it wasn't like they didn't know what they wanted.

"More consequences?" he offered.

"John. If we do . . . _this_, we really need to have a plan. We need to figure out what we'll do when it becomes common knowledge. How we'll handle the day to day running of the city. A million other different . . ."

She trailed off when he cupped her face and he liked the fact that he was responsible for the sudden softness that appeared in her eyes. "I know. I do. But can't we just…" He made a vague waggling gesture with his eyebrows ". . . first?"

"Consequences?" she offered with a knowing grin.

"Yes." He nodded enthusiastically. "Those. We need to do those. Really."

"We need to do consequences?"

"Yes."

"As in . . ." She tilted her head to the side and let her grin turn into a smile and he decided that he could really get used to her looking at him like that. "Something that logically or naturally follows from an action or condition?"

"Yes. Logically." Logic was good. Logic was his friend. Logic would see to it that he got to experience all sorts of naked goodness with this woman. He loved logic.

"A conclusion reached through valid deductive reasoning?"

"Yes." Reason was also his friend. He loved reason too. Reason and logic were going to be great for his sex life.

"So what you're saying is –"

"Exactly," he interrupted. She was toying with him again. It was still hot. Actually, it was better than hot. It was . . . well, all he could come up with was _hotter_, because the scent of her hair was intoxicating and it was doing all sorts of weird things to his brain. Besides that, he could actually _touch_ her now and he really, really wanted to explore that some more.

"I like it when you play with me," he murmured, gently drawing her face to his. And then he kissed her. And even though he was expecting it, he was still a little surprised when she wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him back. Just like it was the most natural thing in the world for the two of them to be holding each other and kissing on the balcony of a floating city.

"I like playing with you," she hummed against his lips when they broke for air, and he almost dragged her off to his cave then and there. If it wasn't for the fact that he'd have to drag her through the control room and past the goggling eyes of a room full of scientists, he would have embraced the whole cat calling, thigh slapping, hubba-hubba cave man attitude and done just that.

"I've noticed."

"You have?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded, and jumped slightly when one of her hands slid down to his butt and patted him. "Hey now. You break it, you buy it."

"Why don't we just consider it mine?" she posed. "Then I can do whatever I want with it." And then she pinched him, and that, combined with the evil little smirk that was gracing her lips suddenly made him very, very happy. "Okay?"

"'Kay," he replied, grinning. There were consequences, after all. And Elizabeth _had_ warned him. He'd just have to suck it up and deal. "Anything you say."

tbc…one more to go!


End file.
